Top 10 Reasons Pittsburgh Doesn't Need an NBA Team...

10. The regular season is boring and meaningless.

Ever try watching an entire NBA regular season game? Me either and I don’t really understand why anyone does. The regular season begins in October and it doesn’t end till March or April, that’s way too long for my shortened attention span. Not only is length of the season bad enough, but also every team except for the Memphis Grizzlies and New York Knicks make the playoffs anyway.

(Pic from blogs.nydailynews.com)

An 88 million dollar payroll and they haven’t made the playoffs since John Starks played...

9. I’ve got better things to do on Christmas then watching hoops.

Such as drinking the bottles of Grey goose and Jager that my brother and cousin bought for me as a Christmas gift, true story, or maybe watching my uncle’s dog Crosby run around my house dressed in his holiday outfit. Both activities are definitely more entertaining then NBA basketball. I draw the line at Trivial Pursuit though I’d rather watch hoops then play that stupid board game.

(Pic from theconnoisseurs.com)

Who needs eggnog when you have a bottle of Jager?

8. Ron Artest

Ron Artest is real piece of work, but he’s also a real good example of what’s wrong with the NBA… The league has suspended Ron Artest numerous times, he’s been arrested, been in a fight in the crowd of a game with a fan, and he even tries to be a rapper. At least he’s never choked a coach I guess, that we know about. Ron’s persona is just another example of the thugged out attitude that the majority of NBA player’s display.

(Pic from sportsillustrated.com)

When keepin' it real goes wrong...

7. Pitt Panthers

As far as most Burgher’s are concerned, Pittsburgh already has a professional basketball team, and no not the Explosion; I’m talking about the Pitt Panthers hoop squad. These guys have been kicking ass for the better part of the last decade. Sure, Pitt hasn’t made it past the sweet 16 yet, but the Panthers have brought home 3 Big East Championships in the last 7 years.

6. The refs in the NBA stink (and cheat).

I mean come on NBA refs could you please call traveling, just one time for me… please. These jabroni’s allow the overpaid NBA crybaby’s to get away with anything they want. That’s why you see a player flip out and get T’d up whenever these boneheads finally do decide to make a call. Grow a pair of nuts and make some calls NBA ref’s, you stink.

(Pic from abcnews.com.com)

How does that travelling call go again?

5. Dennis Rodman

Ya I’m pretty sure the NBA is the only league to have a cross dressing, tattooed, body pierced, hair dying weirdo play for them. He looks more sideshow freak then he does NBA player. Rodman is probably best known for his marriage to Carmen Electra, but he has also been linked to Madonna, and lets not forget also rumored to be bi-sexual. If this guy doesn’t have AIDs I don’t know who does. I guess outlandish behavior is forgivable if you can grab 20 rebounds a game.

(Pic from thehype.files.wordpress.com)

Dennis Rodman wrote a book called “I should be dead by now”… no one is arguing with him...

4. We don’t need any distractions from the Steelers (or Pens)

As soon as the Buccos are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, usually around All-Star break or so, all of my attention shifts to the upcoming Steelers football season. If we had an NBA team here that would just give the talk show hosts something to talk about that isn’t that Steelers, and that’s not cool. Focusing on the upcoming Steelers and Penguins season unifies the city as a whole, and it’s somewhat of a melting pot if you will… bringing together people of different ages, race, sex, and religion all for one common goal… another Super Bowl in the burgh. You wouldn’t want to ruin that NBA would ya?

3. The NBA Sucks.

The ratings have been steadily dropping since Michael Jordan retired. Even the lowly ratings of the NHL are becoming comparable to the ratings of the NBA. The NBA’s image is worse then it’s ever been. Players are constantly being arrested or suspended for having guns, shooting guns, rapping about guns, beating up chicks, and smoking weed. (not in that order) We Burgher’s know bad business when we see one, and we don’t wanna have anything to do with it when that weasel David Stern sinks this ship.

(Pic from imageshack.us)

This is what the NBA is missing these days...

2. Lebron James wore a Yankee hat to a playoff game between the Indians and the Yankees. (no loyalty)

Yes folks that’s a Cleveland Indians playoff game and that is indeed Lebron in the crowd happily sporting a Yankees cap. This would be equivalent to Sidney Crosby showing up to a Steelers Browns playoff game rocking a poop colored Brownies jersey. Actually this would never happen because Sid wouldn’t even make it through the parking lot without taking a beating, but you get my point. Everyone likes to talk about how great Lebron is, and those idiots in Cleveland love him, but this was a scumbag move by him.

(Pic from blog.cleveland.com)

Lebron James the People's Champ...

1. Cleveland would be better then us.

Scary though isn’t it? It even hurt a little to have to write that up there. This alone is enough reason to never ever bring an NBA team to the Burgh. First off, we’d have an expansion team so we’d probably suck for at least a good 5 years or so. Second, those lucky sob’s in Cleveland won the lottery and got Lebron. Although we all know he’s going to eventually leave for a bigger market, (and pay day) the fact that they have Lebron now means that we’d get dominated by them every time we played. This is just unacceptable as everyone in Pittsburgh knows we are superior to Cleveland in every other way, shape, and form.

(Pic from viewimages.com)

You can have NBA basketball Cleveland...

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