Monday, November 26, 2007

Diego's Top Ten Most Outrageous Joey Porter Moments...

In honor of the Steelers hosting the Miami Dolphins on Monday Night Football tonight, I have compiled a list regarding everyone’s favorite trash talking linebacker who now is rocking the teal and orange. That’s right, I’m talking about none other then Joey Porter and this week’s Top 10 is all about him, his shocking behavior, and his glorious trash talk we all have grown to enjoy since drafting him in the 3rd round out of Colorado St. back in 1999.

10. Is Joey Porter a member of Al Quada?

Joey says he’d “welcome Bin Laden” if he could run the ball when asked about Ricky Williams return to the team. Bin Laden? I thought this was America Joey. Ha, this gem was the only talking we’ve heard out of JP in quite some time. The reason for this is of course since signing his big free agent contract in the off-season with Miami, the team still has not won a single game.

9. Who let the dogs out??

At least JP can say the bad press about him wasn’t regarding his mouth this time. Everyone remembers this news story from 2006, when Joey’s two dogs, a pitbull and a mastiff, somehow escaped his yard and killed his neighbor’s 29 inch mini horse! Porter must have these dogs running next to him on the treadmill. Cuz like you, I watch Rob and Big on MTV, and therefore I know that a mini horse is a pretty large creature to kill. I know I wouldn’t wanna run into Porter in a dark alley, but now I know I wouldn’t wanna run into his dogs either.

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Dinner is served...

8. Joey calls Colts “soft”...

After a November loss to the Colts in the regular season, Joey tells the world how he really feels about Peyton Manning and the Colts' offense, before their playoff re-match. Never one to hold back his thoughts, JP says the Colts “try to trick you and make you think” and that Edgerrin James 100+ yard effort rushing was “a cheap 100”. Some thought these comments would backfire and actually help motivate the Colts. As we all know this wasn’t the case as JP and the Steelers defense led the Steelers to victory by physically dominating the Colts offense.

7. Porter calls out refs for “cheating” for Peyton.

This 2005 divisional playoff game alone produced two of Porter’s greatest moments as he went on a tirade after the game due to a call which officials made that overturned a nail-in-the-coffin interception by safety Troy Polamalu. JP was so fired up about the call that he went as far as saying the NFL was trying to cheat for Manning because everyone loves him and wanted to see him win the Super Bowl. With the amount of commercials featuring Manning on TV these days it’s hard to argue with Porter on that one. Either way, the NFL ruled it was a bad call and JP never took a hit in the pocket book. Bonus!

6. Joey a national security threat.

After the Steelers won the Super Bowl in 2006, they were due for a trip to the White House to meet President George W. Bush. JP, of course, used this opportunity in the limelight to talk some smack on the leader of the free world. It’s nice to know that if you have 20+ inch biceps, no neck, and your job description is giving running backs snot bubbles (you know you love the Program reference) that you can get away with making comments like these about the President. With this one, Joey proved that no one is safe from his trash talk.

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Who wants some of Deebo?

5. Joey calls Winslow out of closet after cheap shot.

Porter is a passionate player, so when people take cheap shots at teammates it doesn’t usually sit too well with him. Kellen Winslow found this out the hard way after a game in 2006. J Pizzy once again let his emotions get the best of him and called the Browns tight end “a fag” not once but twice. Normally, if someone in the national media spotlight would make a comment like this there would be pandemonium from gay rights groups, but seeing as how JP is a 255 lbs black man who just happens to be one of the most feared players in the league, people seemed to let this one slide a little more then they normally would.

4. Joey ruins Jerramy Stevens career.

Sometimes it's just smarter to keep your mouth shut, but Jerramy Stevens apparently never learned this growing up. Stevens made the mistake of opening his mouth, and JP, as he does most times, took it personally. Steven’s comments led to a highly publicized back and forth battle of words during the two-week grace period between conference championships and Super Bowl XL. The Steelers won their 5th Super Bowl and Stevens was cut and sent packing shortly after the season, never to be heard from again. Hey Jerramy I guess that’s what happens when keeping it real goes wrong.

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Hey, didn't I see this guy on a milk carton?

3. Joey Porter gets a cap busted in his ass during a drive by, literally.

Ray Lewis may think he is a badass because he beat a murder charge, but compared to JP he’s nothing but a wanksta. Although Porter is no 50 Cent, its still pretty ridiculous he got Forrest Gump’d outside the bar in Denver that night. Also, lets not forget the fact that this event led to the “where was Ray Lewis when Joey Porter got shot” bootleg t-shirt...classic.

2. You can take Joey out the hood, but you can’t take the hood out of Joey.

In what has to be one of the most awesome stories I have ever heard, it was reported over the summer that J Pizzy locked it up with Bengals tackle Levi Jones as the two played blackjack in Las Vegas. It is good to know that Porter, no longer even a Steeler, still hates the Bengals so much that he would willingly assault one of their players, on video tape nonetheless. Obviously this man just doesn’t give an F and basically, if you disrespect him, you’re going to pay for it. One witness described the mêlée as a scene out of a Rocky movie. My take is that Porter would give Clubber Lang, Tommy Gunn, and the juiced up Russian from Rocky 4 movie a run for their money.

1. The Joey Porter Rule

Some players talk and let their play back it up on the field; others let their fists back it up. In 2004, the Steelers were playing the Browns when before the game JP began jawing at Browns players near the 50-yard line that split the two teams. Browns running back William Green began talking back and Porter took offense, and next thing you know the two were throwing blows as players, refs, and coaches attempted to mediate the brawl. Not only did Porter and Green get fined 10 g’s and kicked out the game, but the NFL went as far as to implement what I refer to as, the Joey Porter rule. After the incident the NFL changed the rules so that no players but kickers are allowed in the 5-yard cushion on each side of the 50-yard line, because after all what is a kicker going to do? To have the NFL rewrite the rule book because you kicked someone’s ass before the game that is priceless. I tip my hat to Joey Porter, thanks for all the memories big guy!

Note from Snack: Diego left out perhaps the most homo-erotic moment in Steelers history when Ole #55 plants a big, wet one on The Chin...Take one look at this video and all of you Colts and Brownie fans will finally stop having nightmares about him chasing down your QB and flexin' his shit...

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