Tuesday, January 29, 2008

10 Reasons the Patriots will lose the Super Bowl

Well that time of the year again, Super Bowl week, full of endless speculation, interviews, Tom Petty, and lots and lots of hype...it’s all good if your team's in it, but this year ours isn’t. So basically, we’re all just rooting for the Patriots to take one on the chin and looking forward to seeing some new commercials. After the popularity of the Top 10 Reasons to Hate the Patriots (by far my most popular and controversial post). I had no choice but to get at them again, and with that in mind here is this week's Top 10...

10. Week 17 -

Did the game week 17 really mean anything to either of these teams in terms of the playoffs? The answer to that is no, but yet every starter for both teams, on both sides of the ball played the entire game. It proved that the Giants were tough and weren’t scared of the seemingly immortal Pats. The G-Men handled business too, leading into the 4th quarter of the game. The experience of facing the Patriots will help the Giants prepare for the rematch. They’ve dealt with the media blitz, they’ve dealt with Brady and Moss, and they are ready to go. In that game Brady passed for more yards, but Eli passed for 2 more TD’s. Also, the Giant’s red zone efficiency was a perfect 4/4 while the Pats was only 3/5.

See you in Arizona, punk...

9. The Redemption/Upset Factor -

Lets face it, the Giants are probably feeling a little like Rodney Dangerfield here, getting no respect. The opening line for this one had the Giants getting 14 points. That is an outrageously high spread, especially for a Super Bowl. If that’s not enough to get the Giants pumped, then maybe the never-ending media coverage of the heroic Patriots will do the trick. After all that the Giants went through in the off season; retaining Tom Coughlin and losing Tiki Barber, it almost seems like destiny for the Giants, overcoming all obstacles to rise up and win the big one against all odds.

9 Huge upsets to inspire the Giants

Webster’s INT brought redemption for Tynes Sunday

8. The Giants have 2 quality Running Backs -

The Giants have a nice combination of thunder and lightning, if you will, in their two running backs, Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw. Jacobs is basically a refrigerator with legs - dude is HUGE. If you don’t believe me, ask Charles Woodson, who attempted to tackle the big man on the first play of the NFC championship and got totally flattened. The Beast from the East, Jacobs, has stepped in as the main man in NY now that Tiki is busy smoozing with socialites in the media. He has not disappointed, raking up 155 rushing yards and 3 TDs in the playoffs. Jacobs' counterpart Bradshaw is small but much quicker and has ability to take it to the house on any carry. This combo, mixed with one of the best O-lines in the game, makes the Giants' rush game is dangerous and a huge concern for the permeable Pats run defense.

All aboard! Next stop, endzone!

7. The Giants don’t make mistakes -

Turn the ball over to Tom Brady and he will screw you faster than a hooker in a massage parlor. Tom Brady is good, and so is his offense, so making it easier for him to score is about as smart as punching a cop. However, the Patriots have not blown out Super Bowl opponents in the past, winning 20-17 over Rams, 32-29 over Carolina, and 24-21 over Eagles. With those close margins of victory, not turning it over could be the difference maker. The Giants have been winning the turnover battle in the postseason, and it's been paying off for them. Eli has been perfect so far, with no interceptions in the playoffs, and he will need to be perfect once again if the Giants want to come home with a win.

That's it, keep it nice and boring for them Giants...

6. Giants Defense -

The first two weeks of the season, this defense looked like swiss cheese - but since then they have pulled it together. They wouldn’t be where they are now without their defense, especially last weekend when Corey Webster picked off Brett Favre in OT. Defensive coordinator Spagnuolo is the hot assistant coach this year, as his name has been linked to many vacant head coaching positions. Spagnuolo is the head honcho of the ferocious G-Men D, and if they expect to beat the Patriots they will have to make stops on 3rd down and take the ball away. This has seemingly been what the G-Men have been doing all year - putting pressure on the QB with the front 7, which leads to turnovers and sacks. Getting pressure on Brady will be key, but also won’t be easy, thanks to the best offensive line in the game. Defensive leaders Michael Strahan and Antonio Pierce will have their work cut out for them, but they understand a chance like this may only come once in a lifetime.(Or twice in Strahan's case...)

We're gonna get you, sucka...

5. Tom Brady’s walking cast -

Oh you gotta love those pesky camera men over at TMZ, as they snapped a pic of Brady walking to the NY apartment of his girlfriend Gisele. First off, what are you thinking hanging out in NY this week Brady? If I were you I would be a little concerned about getting Tonya Harding’ed while walking the streets - I hope you were watching your back. Now I don’t know if this injury is a concern or not, seeing as there has been so many conflicting stories on the matter, but I do know this is a distraction. A distraction for a team that may be a little too relaxed, kicking up their feet with the perfect record of theirs. If the Patriots worry too much about Brady’s ankle, and don’t focus on the assignment at hand, it could spell upset.

No bodyguard huh? Hope your packin' some heat Tom...

4. Plaxico “the roach” Burress -

Who can stop this lanky SOB? Surely nobody in the Packers secondary could, as Plax had his way with them catching 11 passes for 154 yards. This guy has been hurt pretty much the whole year, but has still dominated, stepping up his play on a weekly basis. Toomer is decent and all, but Plax is definitely more of a big play threat, and yet he still manages to torch corners and safeties to make the big play. He is surprisingly quick for a man of his size and he has excellent hands. I know the Pats have Moss, but he’s been relatively quite this post season catching only 1 pass in the AFC championship. If Burress can stretch the field then the Tom and Randy might find themselves playing catch up.


3. Giants have won 10 in a row on the road -

Winning 3 games on the road in the playoffs is a very impressive feat on it's own, however, winning 10 games in the row on the road is absolutely ridonkulous. (yes, I make up my own words) The Giants are the road team in the Super Bowl this year, so they are going for number 11. So the G-Men are road warriors this season and they have got history on their side, which is good because they are certainly lacking in Super Bowl experience. Coughlin has these guys playing with some good chemistry and more importantly, they believe in themselves, not in the hype.

2. 75% of the America will be cheering them on -

I wanted to say the world here, but it seemed a little too substantial. The entire 1972 Dolphins team is on our side, and so are the cities of Jacksonville and San Diego. Its kind of like the Patriots are the evil empire...as ou Top 10 reasons to Hate the Patriots showed, there are many reasons to hate this team, but I would say the main one is that no one likes a team that just wins all the time ex. Duke Basketball and Yankees. There is just so much not to like here; the cockiness, the miserable expression on the face of their coach, the stupid humble pie, their obnoxious fan base, and the continual praises from ESPN. (Including that stupid ass corny Brady Bunch Tom Brady segment they constantly show) On the other hand, it will make it all worth while if they lose in the Super Bowl - just to see the look on the face of the Patriots fans and especially those old ‘roided up defensive players like Junior Seau, Rodney Harrison, Teddy Bruschi, and Mike Vrabel...it will be priceless.

The only 112 year old player in the NFL...go pop some more roids old man, you're gonna need them...

1. The Super Manning Bros. -

Archie Manning played for the Saints and they sucked. Luckily for him, he has super sperm and he’s 50% responsible for creating not one but two number one overall draft picks in the NFL. Archie might not know how to win himself, but he sure as hell knew how to raise some winners; behold the great and mystical power that is the Manning’s! You wait and see - Peyton got his ring last season, and this year it's Eli’s turn. As I previously stated, Eli has outplayed Tom Brady, and has been the MVP of the 2008 playoffs thus far and only needs one more good game. Then and only then we will see Eli-mania in 2008-09, with him taking the media spotlight away from his big brother. He’ll get the commercials, the bonuses, and hell, he may even date a model/actress himself...I’m thinking an Olsen twin possibly.

Until lata...


gary said...

oh god do i hate the patriots

Lance said...

I hope Tom Brady chokes... F the pats.

I cant believe I'm saying this but "Go Giants!!"

Robert said...

I would like to see the faces of the "Tom Brady Man Crush Club" when he loses the Super Bowl. Priceless.

Jersey said...

Hah...nice. Go Giants!! ;)

tha friendly stranger said...

well, well looks like Diego is a prophet