Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Top 10 Reasons Pittsburgh is Better then Cleveland...

I hate Cleveland. There are many reasons for this, but I would say the main one is the Steelers rivalry with the Browns. This team stinks, their fans stink, and their city stinks. Anyone who moves to Cleveland has serious issues and or may be mentally retarded. This hatred for Cleveland and the upcoming match up with the Browns for first place in the AFC north, still feels weird saying that, has fueled me to write this week’s top 10 list… The top 10 reasons why Pittsburgh is better then Cleveland…

10.You drafted Tim Couch number one overall in the 1999 draft. Good call here jackasses great idea passing on Donovan McNabb, Champ Bailey, and Tory Holt. Alright I will give you this, its not like Troy Edwards was the greatest pick either, but, come on, we didn’t have the number 1 pick. Also, we did manage to snag Joey Porter, Aaron Smith, and Jerame Tuman in the ‘99 draft.

9.You picked up Ricardo Colclough. Has it really come to this Brownies? You have resorted to picking up players the Steelers have given up on and sent packing. Colclough is a scrub, and that is a well-known fact by everyone here in the Burgh. If I saw someone wearing a Colclough jersey I’d be forced to kick his ass on principle.

Only in Cleveland...

8.Kellen Winslow is a spoiled rich kid. Everyone remembers Kellen’s rant when he played for the University of Miami about being an f’n soldier back in 2003. Well, Kellen, I’m sure you were trying to keep it real and everything, but come on brah, your dad played in the NFL and he was rich. You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth and you’ve probably never even been to the ghetto, let alone lived in one. Let’s not forget about the fact that J Pizzy called you a fag not once but twice.

7. The only thing worthwhile in the whole state is Lebron James. Seriously, Canada could invade Ohio and blow up the entire state and I wouldn’t mind as long as Lebron was playing a road game that night. What is Cleveland known for? I would say Lebron, and then nothing else really comes to mind… still thinking and ya, I got nothing. Lets not forget that not even Lebron likes Cleveland...smart man, see you in New York when that contract is over.

What a scumbag move...

6. Yinz don’t got any of these. The Browns have never won a Super Bowl. They haven’t even been to one; in actuality they haven’t even been close. Come on even the Bungals made it to a couple in the 80’s. In fact the last time these bums actually made the playoffs the Steelers, led by Tommy Maddox, beat them and sent them home to back to their pitiful existence and ugly woman in Cleveland.

I'd love to sucker punch Jamal Lewis with one of these on my hand...

5. The fans. The Steelers have the best fans in the NFL, we travel around to every city the Steelers play in, every year, and we are always well represented no matter where we go. (There are Steelers bars across the nation) The Browns have the dog pound; grown men that dress up in dog masks and throw batteries at opposing team players. I hate the dog pound - those scumbags need to all die a slow painful death, but I guess if I were a Brownie fan I’d try to hide my face with a mask too.

4. These are the 4 baddest mofo’s in Cleveland. So apparently these are the four toughest dudes in all of Cleveland. These guys woulda got their lunch money taken at Allderdice. I could go down the street to any elementary school in the city and find four sixth graders that would not only kick the shit out of these wanksta’s but would probably be able to rap better then them too.

My Grandman could kick these tools' ass...

3. The Uniforms. The Browns have what can only be described as the ugliest jersey in the entire NFL, and quite possibly all of sports. Think about it; are there any other pro sports team that incorporate dookie brown into their team colors? The answer to that question is no, of course not. Their helmets don’t even have logo’s they just have a stupid brown and white stripe. And who in the hell though it was a good idea to go with the color combo of brown and orange that’s horrendous.

2. Steelers punter and coach could wipe the floor with anyone on the Browns roster.Come on now, a guy that’s not even still playing on our team put the toughest dude you got in his place repeatedly. The Browns have nothing but a bunch of sissy’s who like to run off at the mouth. This game isn’t even really a rivalry anymore since we handle you easily every time we play against each other. Ask any college football player his biggest fear and he will answer, hearing “and the Browns select” followed by their name.

He'd eat your children, Winslow...

1.Our quarterback isn’t a flamer. Everyone here in the burgh knows that Big Ben loves the ladies. Hell, you can even get poon pretending to be Ben (you can even get poon pretending to be Brian St. Pierre). On the other hand I’m not so sure about 1st round selection for the Browns, Brady “pecker checker” Quinn. I’m pretty sure this kid might bat for the Yankees (if you know what I mean). You know the cliché, “a picture is worth 1,000 words.”

Who would you rather have on YOUR team?


1 comment:

Jeannie B said...

The only thing that Might be worth anything in Cleveland is the Zoo, and even our ZOO is better then theirs.